27 September 2008

PIGHEADED

Pigheaded: stupidly obstinate; stubborn.

…how fitting. I am horribly pigheaded as is much of my family, the only difference is that I’m completely aware of it, while they live in denial. I almost wonder if it’s not them being pigheaded so much as being set in their ways. I suppose the two go hand in hand, though.

I find myself questioning the origins of this adjective. Are pigs really stupidly obstinate? I feel as though, under normal circumstances pigs would be rather jovial creatures ala Wilbur in Charlotte’s Web but, by god I’d be stubborn too if I was being fattened up so that my flesh could be shredded into bacon and my body turned into a ham. So who are we to say that pigs are stubborn when we only generally deal with them under less than savory circumstances? Well, I suppose the outcome is savory for us just not for them.

---

It’s rainy and overcast again today, just like yesterday and the day before. I never used to mind days like this much but, now they just make my head hurt. I looked at weather.com and we’re not supposed to have a nice day until Thursday, the day I go back to school. Great.

THREE

Autumn, sweet Autumn you’re here at long last. Sweaters, beanies, crunchy leave stomping, farm stands and my favorite, the return of the pumpkin spice latte at Starbucks. I don’t generally advocate spending $5 on a cup of coffee but, for the few short months that Starbucks bestows the deliciousness of this latte on me, I’m ready, willing and able to spend money I do not have on this palatable treasure.

I may have to revise that comment shortly though, especially if our economic hardships continue. I’m still unable to find a job and after watching 15 minutes of the debate tonight I got so riled up I needed to watch Love Actually so I didn’t have to face reality. It’s a generational flaw but, it’s a flaw we’ve perfected.

I find myself having very little motivation as of late which is absolutely wretched because I have so many brilliant ideas. I think I just have too much going on in my head. I cannot speak properly or think clearly and all I want to do is sleep. I think the best word to describe it is confuzzed. I’m wondering if it’s possible to be existentially confuzzed, though.

Eh, these are just my late night, nonsensical ramblings. I’m going to try and make a conscious effort to blog more, even if it means I randomly take a word from the dictionary to use as a prompt. I suppose that might be a really good idea; not only will it be a prompt but it can double as an entry title because I can never think of the blasted things.

15 September 2008

TWO

I am adjusting well to my new old life in the greatest city known to man (I think I‘ll just refer to it as Gotham from now on). Aside from being unable to find employment, everything is going rather smoothly. My classes are challenging but, nothing I can’t handle and my social calendar is just busy enough so that I’m not a complete hermit.

This past week was a bit rough. I wasn’t feeling very well and by that I mean I was in agonizing pain for a few days and decided it best to return to Superbia in order to see my doctor. Now, while I’ve lost 10lbs. I’ve also gained an ulcer and gastritis. Thank you Nannie for passing that on to me; you had 50 grandchildren and you decide that I’m the one to get your ulcer problems. Not to sound ungrateful but, I would have much rather have had that glittery snow globe with the little chicken inside.

So, that being said, my Friday was spent at the doctor’s, the hospital and the DMV; three of the most inhumane places ever. After a completely exhausting day I return home to find out that a dear family friend had finally succumb to the cancer he had been fighting for years. No one had told me how bad he had gotten in the past few weeks and I was completely caught off guard.

Saturday, I was finally told that my darling Kathy Bouvier passed away two weeks ago and they forgot to tell me. She was an extraordinary eccentric and I idolized her in every way. She married a cousin of former First Lady Jackie Bouvier-Kennedy-Onassis and spent her later life as a virtual recluse; chain smoking, drinking, painting portraits of her dog Scooter and watching British television on PBS. My Uncle used to be her groundskeeper of sorts and later on was simply her friend and on more than one occasion she took me under her wing to make sure I was educated in British humor and dirty jokes. I’m not sure that I’ll ever meet another person like her as long as I live. I’d like to note that as I’m typing this my computer keeps telling me that I’m spelling “Bouvier” incorrectly and that I probably mean to be spelling “Boozier.” Kathy would have greatly appreciated that.

I suppose I’ve become rather accustomed to death. The last few have left me with a better sense of human mortality and I’m not sure if it’s a good or bad thing. I feel as though a bit of my compassion is missing, then again I was never a terribly compassionate person to begin with.

In the spare time I had while home in Superbia, I crafted most of my Halloween costume. Since Harry Potter has taken over much of my life these last few months, I decided to disguise myself as Luna Lovegood. I’ve successfully beaded earrings to look like radishes, made a cork charm necklace to keep the Nargles away, loom knitted a beanie, whittled and painted a wand as well as put together the rest of my outfit. All I have left is to finish my Weird Sisters shirt, find my spider ring (which is mysteriously M.I.A.), buy a blonde wig and have my mother finish the scarf she decided to knit me. I’ve really got a jump on it this year and it feels AWESOME.

What does not feel awesome is my stomach since I wasn’t thinking and drank a smoothie that had orange and pineapple juice in it. These diet restrictions are going to take me a very long time to get used to.