I was driving behind a “Nugent and Potter” delivery truck Friday afternoon and I cannot even begin to express the mirth I got from the mental image that soon followed. There before me, in the empty white space of the door, suddenly appeared the most glorious picture of Ted Nugent and Harry Potter, arms slung around the others shoulder, bright smiles and thumbs up. I’m not quite sure what kind of business the two would have with each other but, I can only assume it would phenomenal and rather lucrative, especially since they base themselves in the Hamptons.

Now I’m sitting here on the LIRR, preparing myself for the start of another week and wondering where the past 3 months have gone. I divide my time between Gotham and Superbia, I divide my emotions between relative pleasantry and maniacally depressed, I divide my levels of motivation between little and completely nonexistent. It’s the doldrums of life at their finest, I suppose. I’d really just like to feel something other than this for a little while. I think it’s the change of season, or maybe it’s the holidays and the sinking realization that if I don’t start a family soon it’s going to just be me and my parents within a few years. I miss the big gatherings, I miss the camaraderie. Maybe it’s my own fault though, I’m very good at self imposed hermitry after all.

I always thought I’d do big things, make a name for myself and change the world but, now none of that seems important. I just want a home life, a spouse, a bunch of children and a couple of cats. I want the neighborhood kids banging at my door to see if my children can play, I want block parties, PTA bake sales, soccer mom carpool duties. I want Superbia and everything I’ve continually tried to run from and that scares the pants off of me.

That being said:

Dear Santa,

Please return me to my proper state of mind this Christmas. This is getting a bit ridiculous. If this isn’t enough notice please forward my request to the Easter Bunny.

All things good.